Somewhere in Between- Lifehouse

this song keeps fuelling itself in my head.

so recently, atop the much dreaded and thankfully over marketing test and the work, i've just been contemplating a lot.
i realised a few things about myself.

firstly,
i hate being alone.

secondly,
i have to actually try to be more selfless.

thirdly,
i need to lose weight (okay i've been harping on that for a few years).

forthly,
i'm a sucker for temptation.

i remember on christmas eve, when i was going for shisha, wei long was like, "try for what? everything also want to try!"

i don't know if i've mentioned this from The Unbearable Lightness of Being- that vertigo is the heady, insuperable longing to fall.

you're not afraid of falling because of the height; the hesitation comes from knowing that you want to fall so that you can experience the thrill.

it's really the same in life, at least for me. i enjoy succumbing to temptations, be it to chocolates or a smoke or a tattoo. but of course, who thinks about repurcussions?
:P

which is why i suspect i'll die early and possibly be happy about it. haha. even if i'm still a virgin. sex will be about the only thing that i'm staunch about, besides doing stuff that hurts other people.

then there's the bit about being alone. i hate it, but i need it. sometimes, you overwhelm yourself with people, and it becomes merely a habit that you cannot shake; the meaning of being with others becomes forgotten.

i remember sth jin said to me, that being solo doesn't mean that you're alone, because it's a choice.

oh anyhow, i got to crash ac on wednesday. gosh the j1s looked more like njc students. not that they weren't nice but, i suppose i was expecting more happening people (crashers didn't count). i have to say that i felt out of place initially because i crashed with 2 barker boys (nat being one of them), and i was in my neighbourhood new town uniform. ha.

it can be cruel how people deliver instant judgement, but i suppose we have no right to complain since we put down other people ourselves.

and people, please catch Elizabethtown for orlando bloom, though the film was kind of thought-provoking.

somewhere in between,
of what is real and just a dream.

I blogged @ 12:30 AM